ShtH: what really happened
by Roswing
Summary: This is what really happened in the game Shadow the Hedgehog. Rated for langauge, a couple of suggestive things later in the story, and violence. Chapter six up! Changed the rating to be on the safe side.
1. Emerald 1

Emerald 1

It was a normal day, with normal things happening. All in all, everything was normal...until now…

Just outside of Westopolis…

"Shadow the Hedgehog…why does that name haunt me?" said a black hedgehog with streaks of red on his quills. (Shadow) "It's the only thing I can remember, and that gruesome image…" he said shuddering.

Flashback to three months ago…

"Let's beat this creep with the super power of teamwork!" exclaimed a blue hedgehog. (Sonic)

Present time…

"My god that was the cheesiest thing I've ever heard…speaking of cheese, I'm hungry." So Shadow began to dash off towards Westopolis to get a pizza, but before he could get anywhere, a floating eye with black tentacles, followed closely by a young fox boy who was no more then 5"4 stopped him.

"Shadow!" said the boy, who at closer inspection looked to be 14 or perhaps 15, "Let's go on that adventure to find the Chaos Emeralds you said we would have!"

"Don't listen to that idiot! Bring the emeralds to me!" the eye yelled out.

"Who the hell are you two? And how do you know I'm Shadow?" Shadow asked.

"Just bring them to me dammit! I'll be in pretty much every level to keep watch on you." The eye said as he flew off.

"Bastard…" the boy swore, "Anyway…Shadow, it's me! Kazuki! Don't you remember me?"

"I don't remember anything, and I'm hungry dammit!" Shadow said with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Fine…let's go get some food…" said Kazuki reluctantly as they dashed off towards Westopolis.

Meanwhile…

"Good, good…it's all going according to plan…" said a mysterious person, mysteriously… "Use plan M!" they ordered.

"Yes sir." another mystery person (male from the sound of it) as they sent someone to a strange device. "Preparation complete sir." They said.

"Good…" the mystery man said as he pushed a button, there was a bright flash of light, then nothing…

Back in Westopolis…

"Okay…you got your pizza…now can we go get the Chaos Emeralds?" Kazuki said, sounding very impatient.

Shadow, just now paying attention responded, "Wha-? Oh sure whatever." He didn't seem to care about anything until he looked up to see that the sky was red… "WTF?" he yelled out as black creatures started falling from the sky.

Kazuki—having just noticed—responded quickly "Oh crap… Shadow! We need to get the Chaos Emeralds!" and at that moment several of those creatures had surrounded them, "And fast!" he said as they dashed off.

"What's their problem?" one of the black creatures said.

"How should I know?" another responded. "Anyone want some pizza?"

And all the others responded, "Sure!"

Back to our heroes(?)…

"So," Shadow said as they ran along, "how long do you think it'll take us to find the first emerald?" Shadow asked.

Kazuki took a moment to think, and responded, "Oh, about 30 seconds."

"Damn that's fast." Shadow said, thinking that meant everything was going to be easy.

"Well it would be faster, but we're about to be interrupted." Kazuki mentioned, clearly not liking the thought of stopping.

"Why?" Shadow asked, only to figure out why immediately afterwards.

"Hey, Shadow! We-" Sonic started, only to be interrupted.

"Who the hell are you, and why did you have to stop us when we're seconds away from the emerald?" demanded Shadow.

"Shadow? It's me! Sonic!" stated Sonic, "Can't you see my name on the bottom of the screen?" Sonic asked.

"Now that you mention it, yes. But you still didn't answer my other question." said Shadow.

"I stopped you so I could tell you this: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!" Sonic answered.

"…I hate you." Shadow said after a long pause, then he and Kazuki dashed off.

"Wait! I was just joking!" Sonic yelled out trying to stop them, but to no avail, "Damn…"

About five feet away…

"Shadow look! It's the first emerald!" Kazuki said excitedly.

"Yeah," Shadow replied, "but it looks like we gotta take out that creature to get to it…" Shadow said, with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"No problem." Kazuki assured him, "I'll take it out in one blow!" he said as he cut the creature in two with his sword.

"Holy crap…" Shadow said, mouth agape, "That was insane…" he said as he ran towards the emerald.

"Yeah, I know…" Kazuki said, felling really cocky right then.

"Well we got the emerald, so let's use that conveniently placed spring to continue." Shadow said, pointing out the obvious.

"Sounds like a plan to me!" Kazuki replied as they jumped onto the spring.

"Holy crap…" Shadow said after they landed, "It's…

Continued next chapter…

---------------Here come the author's notes!----------------------------

A/N: Oh…suspense…I think I'm going to like leaving you all in suspense…anyway, my first story! YAY! Don't expect a given date on when I'll be finished with a chapter, I do these when I'm bored, just thought I'd let you all know that. Now review please.


	2. Emerald 2

Emerald 2

"It's Michael Jackson!" Shadow yelled out.

"Oh god no…" Kazuki said as he charged energy into his blade, "GETALOADOFTHIS!" he yelled out as he was charging towards Michael Jackson.

"HOWDY YA'-" Michael Jackson tried to say, until he got stabbed and randomly imploded.

Shadow blinked and rubbed his eyes, "How the hell did you do that?" he asked amazed.

"Well you see, I poured my energy into the blade which let me…

Meanwhile at the mysterious place…

"What the…-?" the mystery man wondered aloud, "Who do I have left to send?" he bellowed.

"Not much sir. We could send THAT though…" the other one (let's call him James) responded.

"Fine then send the-" the mystery man began to say, "Wait, I bet there's someone watching us right now…" he guessed.

"Yes there is sir, there's actually a camera in here" James said, answering the man's suspicions.

"YOU IDIOT!" he said as he fired a lighting bolt at the camera.

BACK TO ADVENTURE!

"Sonic? What the DAMN are you doing here?" Shadow demanded, "Are you here to be some useless advert again?" He asked impatiently.

"Aflac." Was Sonic's reply.

"…Urge to kill rising…" Shadow stated.

"Um, for your safety, we're gonna go now!" Kazuki blurted out as he grabbed Shadow and dragged him away.

"Let me at him dammit! I'm gonna kill that blue bastard for wasting our time!" Shadow protested. That is, until Kazuki loosed an electric shock onto Shadow to shut him up. "Night…night." he said, right before falling asleep.

"Ugh, finally, I can go a hell of a lot faster without having to wait for him." Kazuki thought aloud as he ran off at unheard of speeds.

"Wait!" Sonic yelled out in another vain attempt to stop him. "Dammit!"

At the third checkpoint…

"Damn it feels good to run this fast again." Kazuki said to no one in particular.

"Uh…what the hell did you do to me…?" Shadow asked as he awoke (he was being carried).

"Oh, that? I just sent a small shock through your body which caused you to fall unconscious for a small while." Kazuki explained.

"So you really can use magic…" Shadow mused aloud.

"Yeah. What? You thought I was lying before?" Kazuki questioned.

"Well…-" Shadow began to answer, only to be cutoff.

"On second thought…don't answer that." Kazuki interrupted.

"Okay…" Shadow complied as they ran off.

"Shadow! Bring the eme-" the strange floating eye (Doom's Eye) started, only to be interrupted. (sensing a pattern here?)

"No." Shadow said as they continued running.

Doom's Eye starts crying at this, "Shadow you meanie! I'm going to Blog about you and listen to Taking Back Sunday!" Doom's Eye said as he flew off.

At the loop…

"**_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!111_**" Shadow screamed out while running on the loop, "CAN'T STOP!" he yelled out.

"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU IDIOT!" Kazuki yelled out as they pulled out of the loop, "There. Better now?" he asked.

"Not really…" Shadow said uneasily as they shoot off into the air from a dash panel.

"Fine," Kazuki said as they landed on the next checkpoint, "Just use that then." He said pointing towards a vehicle.

"Yeah, I think I'll use that." Shadow said, thankful he didn't have to keep running the way he felt.

Meanwhile at the mysterious place… (Again?)

"James!" the man yelled, "Aren't you done yet? If you don't hurry, then all the data we retrieved will be for nothing!" he said.

"It's finished sir, now can I get a sandwich? James asked.

The man sighed at this, "Fine…" he reluctantly said.

At the fifth checkpoint…

"Finally, we found it…" Shadow said running up to the emerald.

"Hmm…I've got the feeling this is a trap…" Kazuki said, with a hint of worry in his voice.

"Nonsense." Shadow said as he grabbed the emerald.

"The music changed!" Kazuki pointed out. (Yes, they can hear the music…)

Shadow replied, "That's odd…I don't think it's any-" and at that, they were suddenly in the Internet. "-different…OH GOD!" He yelled.

"That song…" Kazuki continued, "It's…

Continued next chapter…

---------------------------------------------It is once again, time for the author's notes!-------------------------------------------------

A/N: I love leaving you in suspense… (NOTE: Anyone who knows me might know what song it is… _insane laughter_) But seriously, if you have any ideas for future jokes, write them in your review! I'll even give you credit (not lying)!


	3. Emerald 3

Emerald 3

"It's the One Winged Angel song from FF7!" Kazuki said.

"Really? I thought it was going to be-" Can you feel the Sunshine? starts playing. "OH DAMN! It's Tails Doll!" Shadow yelled.

"I know where we can go!" Kazuki said, leading Shadow someplace on the Internet.

"Hey…I think I like this pla-" and just then Shadow saw the most scary thing in the world, a Sonadow picture. "**_AHHHHHHH!111! MY EYES!111!_**" He said running off.

"Wait!" Kazuki yelled to Shadow, "We need to make this chapter at least four pages in MS Word!" Kazuki said, breaking the fourth wall.

"FOURTH WALL! FOURTH WALL!" Shadow reminded Kazuki.

"Oh right. I won't do it again!" Kazuki said.

"Damn straight." Shadow said as they arrived at GameFAQs.

"Hey look, it's a topic questioning the rating the ESRB gave your game." Kazuki pointed out to Shadow.

"Tell the author to tell them I said "You know I wonder how it got a damned E10+ rating myself, and SSBM getting a T rating is just stupid."" Shadow told Kazuki.

"Got it." Kazuki said, "Yo Ros!" he yelled out.

"I'm typing everything you guys do ya know, so you didn't have to tell me…" I said.

"Oh…right…" Kazuki said, feeling really stupid then, "Well it took up space getting you closer to your four page goal, right?" Kazuki said, trying to make it look like what he did wasn't completely stupid.

"I suppose…" I said, "Now can I get some breakfast?" I asked, but not so much asking, as "Let me get my damn cereal or I will kill you and hide the body where no one will find it" kind of way. You know what I mean?

Kazuki looks at the text above, "Yeah…you do that…" he said, sounding nervous.

"Thank you." I said as I saved the document to take a break and get some cereal.

"Big Brother eh?" Shadow said as they wandered the site. "Could you let me say something?" He asked.

"You're dead in that topic." I pointed out.

"Oh…excuse me while I go cry…" Shadow said, as he walked off to go cry.

"The hell?" Kazuki said, I responded with a shrug. "Go post in that topic about doors." He said.

"Sure," I said, ""Those places are weird in my opinion, I just run in and get the money whenever I find one, but that's just because I see no reason to stick around."" I quoted.

"'Kay, go post in the frying pan topic" Kazuki said.

"K, "Lol, game telling you to stop button mashing."" I said.

"'K, let's go Shadow!" Kazuki said.

"Okay…" Shadow said reluctantly as he followed along.

"Hey look, a light!" Kazuki said as he ran towards it.

"WAIT!" Shadow yelled.

Kazuki started to stop, "What?" he said as he slid to where the light was.

"AHHHHH!" Shadow screamed as they got sucked towards the light.

"Eh-oh. This can't be good." Kazuki said as they ran into the source of the light, breaking it in the process. "Hey look! An item bubble!" he said as Shadow homing attacked it. "Oh yeah, thanks pal." he said sarcastically

"Any time." Shadow said as he fell towards the ground.

"Ah well." Kazuki said as he floated to the ground.

"Do you think you could teach me how to use magic?" Shadow asked.

"Probably not." Kazuki replied.

"But why not?" Shadow said, disappointed.

"Because you have to be capable of using it, and it can take months to figure that kind of stuff out." Kazuki pointed out.

"Oh…damn…" Shadow said sighing, then he saw Sonic. "What the hell are you doing here?" he said.

"Allstate, are you in good hands?" was all Sonic said.

"I'm gonna freakin' kill you god dammit…" Shadow said pulling out a Gatling Gun, but then Can you feel the Sunshine started playing again…

"AHHHHHHHHH!11!11!" they all screamed as they ran, but it was too late…

"Hey guys! Can I help!" asked James. (Had you going there didn't I?)

"JAMES!" I yelled out, "I told you to be evil!" I said, angry at him.

"He wouldn't let me…" James said.

"Why not?" Kazuki said, butting in.

"It all happened about an hour ago…" James started, "I walked in and BAM! He asked me what we should do, so I responded with. "You should use your biz-biz magic!" Then he got angry and made me leave…" he said.

"What about the Tails Doll?" Shadow asked.

"Killed it." James said bluntly, as everyone's eyes went wide.

"But how?" Kazuki yelled, "The Tails Doll is immortal!" he stated.

"It is?" I just cast Meteor Swarm and it died." James said, as Kazuki jumped back in shock.

"How do you know the most powerful fire spell without even being a Magi?" Kazuki asked.

"Huh? What's a Magi?" James asked.

"Never…mind…" Kazuki said.

"Okay, last question." I said. "Why was Can you feel the Sunshine? playing?" I asked, at which point James just shrugged.

"So can I join?" James asked.

"Sure." Was Shadow's answer.

"Why not?" Kazuki answered, "By the way, are you joining Sonic?" Kazuki asked.

"Nope, I'm already traveling with someone else." Sonic said, as he started to run off.

"Who?" Kazuki yelled out.

"She says her name's Krystal!" Sonic said, as he disappeared from view.

"Krystal? Let's go Shadow!" Kazuki said, dragging Shadow with him.

"Yaaaawn…this is boring…" I said, as I hit the fast-forward button, "Look, you guys got the emerald, and now you're at a circus. Alright?"

"Okay." Shadow said, as the screen went dark…

Continued next chapter…

-----------------------------------------------I have nothing to say...-------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Hey guys, it's me. I'm aware that some may not like what I did with this chapter, but I was rapidly getting bored with it, which is why there's no suspense. Now to talk about something…Krystal is a character I made, her and Kazuki are BF/GF, end of story. See you next chapter!


	4. Eres 4?

Eres 4?

"Ugh, we've been wandering around for hours, and I still have no clue where Krystal is…" Kazuki said, exhausted

"Forget about that. The real question is: Where's that DAMN fourth Chaos Emerald?" Shadow said.

"Shadow." Kazuki said.

"Yes?" Shadow responded.

"Shut up." Kazuki said.

"Yeah whatever…" Shadow said, as he looked up. "Huh?" he said.

"Ack! My plane!" A young fox boy (Tails) said, as his plane slowly but surely lost altitude.

"Look out. You're going to crash. Ah." Sonic said, with no emotion whatsoever.

"Sonic, what the hell kind of advertisement was that?" Shadow asked.

"I was advertising Sonic Adventure DX." Sonic said.

"Why would you do that?" Kazuki asked.

"Because this is WHO I AM." Sonic said.

"GAH! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Shadow said as he shot at Sonic, but he missed due to a crappy targeting system, which caused a plot hole to open and take them all—Tails included—to the Legacy. "Graaah, death to all who oppose me!" he said, glowing red. "Chaos…BLAST!" He said, sending a wave of energy in all directions.

"Ah!" A girl in her mid-teens yelled as she jumped back, barely avoiding the blast. "What was that?" she said.

"It appeared to be a large blast of pure energy, most likely created using the power of a Crystal Eres." Said someone who appeared to be a young boy, but sounded much older.

"Um…Shadow?" Kazuki said.

"Yeah?" Shadow said.

"Run." Kazuki said as they ran off.

Back in the Circus (They fell in another plot hole)…

"This plot hole stuff is getting annoying…" Shadow said.

"Yo Ros!" Kazuki yelled out.

I sighed as I replied, "Yes?..." I said impatiently.

"Stop with the damn plot holes!" Kazuki said.

"Fine…" I said reluctantly, "But on one condition." I stated.

"And that is?..." Kazuki asked.

"I get to replace James with Norma." I said.

"Um…No?" Kazuki said.

"Fine then." I said, opening another plot hole. "You'll have to deal with that then." I said, leaving afterwards.

"Can't we just walk around it?" Shadow wondered.

"Sure." Kazuki said as they walked around it, but due to a party size limit, James got sucked in. "Bastard…" He said, looking at where I was before, until a boulder dropped on his head. "OW! Dammit!" He said, getting out from under the boulder.

"Um…Shadow?" Tails said, sounding nervous.

"What?" Shadow responded.

"Behind you…" Tails said, pointing to a dragon that just came out of the plot hole.

Shadow turned around just in time to dodge a bite from the dragon. "Oh crap!" He yelled out.

"Look out for the dragon's breath!" Tails warned them.

"I'm not going to give it time to breathe!" Shadow said, as he and Kazuki charged towards it. "Swallow Dance!" He yelled as he jumped into the air, delivering rapid-fire kicks to the dragon, "Demon Blast!" he then yelled, delivering a jab, then an uppercut that knocked the dragon down. "This should help." He said, drinking a potion, "Get ready!" he yelled out, as the dragon got back up. "MH HA EAT THIS! Talon Strike!" He said, punching the dragon three times, and then jumping in the air to deliver a kick to its head, after which he jumped back. "Let's finish this! Chaos…CONTROL!" He said, freezing time, "NOW!" he yelled out, at which point he punched the dragon towards Kazuki, who slashed it to Sonic, who slammed it to Tails, who hit it towards the middle where Shadow was now standing, at which point Shadow shot a burst of air towards the dragon and killed it.

"That went tolerably well." Sonic said.

Oh, thanks." Shadow said while doing push-ups.

"Push-ups?" Kazuki questioned as the screen faded back to the normal level.

"Okay, what the hell was that?" Kazuki asked.

"How should I know?" Shadow said in response.

"Oh well, doesn't much matter." Kazuki said.

"Yeah, you're right…But I still need to know: Where's that DAMN fourth Chaos Emerald?" Shadow said.

"In Tails' plane." Sonic said.

"Oh. That would've been nice to know earlier." Shadow said, "By the way, who's Tails?" he asked.

"That's him." Kazuki said, pointing at Tails.

"Didn't that crash in the plot hole?" Shadow pointed out.

"Oh crap…" Kazuki said, "I guess we have to go back…" he said, as they jumped into the plot hole.

"Hey look!" Shadow said, "It's the plane!" he said, pointing towards it.

"Looks like we'll have to take that out first." Kazuki said, pointing to a small, strange, blue blob-like creature, with a blue gem on its head.

"No problem!" Shadow assured him, "Demon Fist!" he said while punching the ground, which sent out a shockwave.

"Demon Fang!" Kazuki said as he slashed the ground, sending out yet another shockwave.

"Lightning!" Sonic said, as a bolt of lightning hit the creature on the head.

"Grave!" Tails said, as a sharp chunk of stone rose from the ground below it, at the same time, the shockwaves also hit it, at which point it died.

"That went tolerably well." Sonic said.

"Thanks." Shadow said, meditating.

"Is he meditating?" Kazuki wondered, as the screen faded back to normal.

"Ugh, that's getting annoying." Kazuki said.

"Whatever." Shadow said in response, "We finally got that DAMN fourth Chaos Emerald!" he said.

"Yeah, let's get out of here of here since we got the emerald." Kazuki said, as they walked towards the plot hole.

"**_HOLD IT!_**" a voice yelled out.

Continued next chapter…

------------------------------------Author's notes time! YAY!--------------------------------------

A/N: Tales of Legendia fans will love this one (or not, depends). Anyway, all that's left to say is this: Blame Tales of Legendia for the delay.


	5. You know what they say! 5

You know what they say! 5

"Do you know where this shoe came from?" I asked, while showing everyone a shoe (Shoey), "It just came outta nowhere!" I said.

"Hm…That's odd…" Shadow said, thinking.

"It must be the work of Torqe Good!" Sonic said.

"You're right!" Kazuki said, "It was so obvious!" he said.

"BING0! THA TOREQE GOOODZORZ!" Some random voice said.

"What the hell was that?" Shadow wondered out loud.

"No clue." Kazuki said while reading the chapter title, "But the next level is going to be a mass production of stupid." He informed everyone.

I open my mouth, only to have Tails interrupt, "Why?" he asked, at which point I played a recording of 'You know what they say, the more the merrier!' over, and over, and over again.

"AHHH!" Shadow yelled, "MAKE IT STOP!" he said, on the verge of sanity.

"Fine." I reluctantly agreed, switching to a recording of I Am… (All of me).

"That's better…" Shadow said.

"MAKE IT STOP!" Said a deep sounding voice.

"Shut up DD." I said, chucking my old broken computer at him, which ended up hitting his eye.

The voice starts crying, "Fine…Be that way!" it said, getting quieter.

"Who was that?" Kazuki asked.

"I don't know…" Was Tails' response.

"O BLAARGGAG?" Shadow said.

"YA BLAARGGAG!" Kazuki replied.

"O RLY?" Sonic said.

"YA RLY!" Tails responded.

"Stop wasting time." The deep voice said.

"JHUMP!" The random voice said.

"The following randomness will be in one paragraph and without pointing out who says what, for space issues (and because I'm a lazy-ass). Thank you." I said.

"Damn you Vaclav!" "Despicable." "Watch out for the dragon's breath!" "S…senel…" "You call that, putting up a fight?" "Moses happy dance!" "My hand's stuck…" "I get anxious when me and another person are good at the same things." "A WINNAR IS YOU!" "**THASS SHEEP!**" "SUPER MISSILE!" "D00D!" "NO WAI!" "Oh…My God." "You know what they say, shut up Norma!" "It's time to d-d-d-d-d-do a barrel roll!" "**_STUPID!_**" "DISHCO DANSHIN!" "_I will win, because I am general!_" "HOW I MINE 4 FISH?" "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" "Otaple." "Ninjers FTW." "MOAR!" "ROFLMFAO!" "Roffle? Is that even a word?" "I hate you!" "Cookie if you get the reference." "Heaven or Hell, Fight!" "Reusing people time!" "Sit boy, sit!" "I ain't Giet." "You bastard!" "DO THE MARIO!" "Fwoggy?" "I won't give it time to breathe!" "Every drop of sweat in training is one less drop of blood in battle!" "Yeah, but, push-ups?" "BICYCLE KICK!" "FAIND THA COMPUTAR ROOOM!" "Damn, not here…" "LIGHTS OUT!" "Now I are sad." TAKE THIS- TAKE THIS!" "I'll use your- Chaos…CONTROL!" "This is, the ultimate- DISSAPPEAR!" "BELIEVE IT!" "YA WAI!" "GETALOADOFGETALOADOFGETALOADOFTHIS!" "Man I'm sleepy…" "Choa." "Dial is laid backwards… O.O" "What say you Cattygoma?" "FINISH HIM." "It's over!" "ABOUT DAMN TIME!"

"See what the Benny Hills song does to me?" I asked.

"Yes..." They all said, nodding their heads.

"Now go to the Fire Monument, you'll find something there." I said, as I went back to Werites Beacon.

"Okay." Kazuki said, as they ran off to the Fire Monument (which only took three seconds to get there, due to size comparisons).

"Damn, it's hot in here…" Kazuki said, "I wonder why it's so hot?" He thought out loud.

"How should I know? Let's just keep going…" Shadow said.

"Works for me." Tails said.

"Then let's go!" Sonic said as they ran off towards the end of the dungeon, fighting monsters on the way, until they reached the last room…

"That's odd…" Kazuki said, "This room is cold." He pointed out.

"You're right…" Tails said.

"Hm?" Shadow said, looking around, "Huh? Hey guys! Look up!" he said, at which point everyone looked up.

"It's a…-" Tails started, only to realize that he has no idea what it is.

"-Plot hole." I said, after falling through it.

"Why did you fall through it?" Kazuki asked.

"Plot holes always suck me in, I'm not sure why." I said in response.

"Where's it lead?" Shadow asked.

"The Internet, and a boss fight." I answered.

"Got it." Sonic said, as they jumped up into the plot hole, only to hear…

"You know what they say, the more the merrier! You know what they say, the more the merrier! You know what they say, the more the merrier!" Eggman said.

"INDIGNATION!" Sonic said, causing a large amount of lightning to hit Eggman.

"NO WAY, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" Eggman said, retreating.

"YEAH!" Kazuki said, doing a little victory dance, "Huh, oh…" he said, looking away as the screen faded back.

"I'm getting tired of these victory things…" Kazuki said.

"Yeah, me too." Shadow agreed.

"Let's just get the Chaos Emerald." Tails said.

"Right." Shadow said, as they began searching.

Meanwhiles (not a typo)…

"Hm…I think it's this way…" A voice (it sounds female) said, "I've been sensing strong magic signals from this direction, so he must be this way." The voice said as they stepped into the light, revealing a wolf girl, about sixteen from the looks of it, who was roughly 5"7'. "It should only be a little while till I find him." She continued, to no one in particular, "I wonder where Sonic went anyway?" she wondered aloud, thinking about it for a little bit. "Ah well." She finally said, continuing on.

Back to the team…

"There's no Chaos Emerald here, is there?" Shadow said angrily.

"I'd say no." Kazuki replied.

"Why the bloody hell wouldn't there be an emerald?" Shadow yelled.

"Quit your bitching Shadow, we'd end up with eight Chaos Emeralds if there was one here." Kazuki told him.

"O BLAARG-?" Shadow started, only to be interrupted by a quick smack in the back of the head.

"We're not doing that again!" Kazuki yelled.

"Too late…" Tails said.

"JHUMP!" The random voice said.

"Aw shit…" Kazuki said as he began to run off, only to run into a certain someone from ten paragraphs ago, and because of height and the way he was running…He ran face first into her chest (ain't the first time)…

"GAH! Get off me you perv!" She yelled, pushing Kazuki off, "Wait, it's you!" she said excitedly, then hugged Kazuki, which put him in the same position he was in before (lucky bastard).

"MPPH PHH PHA!" Kazuki said, in an attempt to talk in his current position, at which point the others showed up.

"We finally caught up to you." Shadow said, he and Tails not understanding the awkwardness of the situation.

"Oh! Sonic, where've you been?" The girl asked.

"With them." Sonic said, pointing at Shadow, Tails, and Kazuki, in that order, "We fell into a plot hole." He informed her.

"Oh," She said, letting Kazuki go, "where did it lead to?" she asked.

"No clue." Kazuki said. "Now let's just get going, are you coming with us Krystal?" He asked.

"Do you even have to ask? Of course I'm coming with you!" Krystal said.

"Alright then, off to space we go!" Kazuki said as he teleported them to the ARK.

Continued next chapter…

---------------The iron hammer of Authors Notes! Hear its thunderous peal!------------------

A/N: This is the most random thing I will ever write (at least I hope)…It's so random that there's no suspense. That scares me…And I still can't believe I'm going to have to devote an entire chapter to a boss fight…See you all next chapter!


	6. Parody 6

Parody 6

In 2101 A.D. War was beginning…

"What happen ?" Asked the hedgehog that is blue.

"Someone set up us the bomb." The fox with the Tails of two replied. "We get signal." Is the words that he spoke out of his mouth.

"What " The hedgehog of the name Sonic spoke.

"Main screen turn on." The fox that is in the going by of the name Tails uttered from the mouth upon his face, as he was in the turning on of the screen that is main.

"It's you " The one named Sonic said as he saw a hedgehog of the black and redness appear upon said screen that is of the main.

"How are you gentlemen " The aforementioned hedgehog of the black and redness who has the name of Shadow said. "All your base are belong to us." The hedgehog of multi-colorness spoke. "You are on the way to destruction." He was in the continuing of the speaking.

"What you say " The hedgehog of blueness said.

"You have no chance to survive make your time." The hedgehog of shadow-likeness said. "Ha ha ha …." He laughed at the misfortune of the other ones as he began upon the process of the disappearing.

"Move Zig." The hedgehog of Sonic spoke after a pause that was long. "You know what you doing." He said going with the continuing of his speaking. "For great justice." He continued to his crew which was a number equal to one. "Move all Zig." He finished with the commandingness of the order.

Meanwhile…

"Blue streak, speeds by. Sonic the Hedgehog." Kazuki started singing, "Too fast, for the naked eye. Sonic the Hedgehog." he continued, "Sonic, he can really move. Sonic, he's got an attitude. Sonic, he's the fastest thing aliiiiiiiive!" he kept singing, "Look out, when he storms through, Sonic the Hedgehog. Don't doubt, what he can do, Sonic the Hedgehog." he sung more, "Sonic, he can really move. Sonic, he's got an attitude. Sonic, he's the fastest thing alive! He's the fastest thing alive! He's the fastest thing aliiiiiiiiiiive!" he finished. "Now why the hell did I sing that song?" He wondered aloud, "…Ah well!" he said turning around. "Huh?" He said, seeing something in the distance, "What's that thi- Oh fuck." he said, realizing what's happening. "I'm going to start running right about..- NOW!" He said, running as fast as he can (which is insanely fast, faster then Shadow (who is actually just a bit faster then Sonic), but he can't maintain it for long).

MOAR PPL?

"Hmm…What am I going to do about this?..." She said, looking at a small box, "I really need to find a time to just- Wait, someone's coming, and fast." She said while putting the box away, just as Kazuki came into view wearing some kind of skates. "Kaz? Why are you in such a hurry?" She asked, following him.

"Just running from the very reason we left to come to this world." Kazuki replied.

"Oh…" Krystal said, with a bit of fear in her voice, "Let's find everyone else first." She recommended.

"Exactly what I was thinking." Kazuki said as they kept running.

Lots of switching this chapter…

"How the hell are you supposed to win?" Shadow said, playing Sonic Riders (he's playing Sky Road).

"I told you already." I said, "Back flip into the first set of air rings, charge up a back flip to get to the high road, then boost to the next set of air rings. IT'S SIMPLE!" I told him.

"How do I get to the first fly rings though?" Shadow asked.

"Shadow, it doesn't even matter, you just suck." Said an unfamiliar female voice (you can't see her since it's dark).

"What'd you say?..." Shadow asked, angry.

"She said you suck. S-U-C-K. Suck." I said as we both walked off, leaving Shadow to figure it out on his own.

"I don't need them…" Shadow said, until he heard a 'THUD', "Wait for me!" he said, running off after turning off the Gamecube.

Running out of ideas (area transfer)…

"I'm gonna hit you with Sonic Speed." Sonic started singing, "I'm gonna hit you with Sonic Speed! (Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!)" he continued "Ridin' on the wave of Super Sonic! (Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!)" he kept singing, "I'm gonna...(I'm gonna...) I'm gonna...(I'm gonna...) I'm gonna...(I'm gonna...) I'm gonna show you!" he sung more (totally not copy and pasted, I'm typing it myself), "I'm gonna...(I'm gonna...) I'm gonna...(I'm gonna...) I'm gonna...(I'm gonna...) I'm gonna show you!" he continued singing, even while wandering around, "I'm gonna show you what true speed is! (Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!)" he just kept singing, "Ridin' on the waves of a Super Sonic! (Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!)" he kept singing, unaware of the footsteps coming closer, "I'm gonna...(I'm gonna...) I'm gonna...(I'm gonna...) I'm gonna...(I'm gonna...) I'm gonna show you!" he sung more and more, ignoring pretty much everything, "I'm gonna...(I'm gonna...) I'm gonna...(I'm gonna...) I'm gonna..." he sung yet more (almost done), "Super Sonic... Super Sonic... Super Sonic Speed!" he finished.

"Sonic? Why were you just singing?" Tails asked.

"I have no clue." Sonic answered.

"Hm…Odd." Tails said, looking around. "What the? I think I hear skating up above." He pointed out.

"Sounds like there's a motorcycle too." Sonic noticed.

"Maybe we should go see what the noise is coming from." Tails said.

"But how?" Sonic asked.

"With this!" Tails said, holding out a capsule type thing.

"How will that help?" Sonic asked.

"Like this!" Tails said, throwing the object into the air, causing a large puff of smoke to appear, which after dissipating left an escalator in its wake.

"How did you do that?" Sonic asked as they headed towards the escalator.

"I have no clue; it was supposed to have air boards inside." Tails replied, as they got on the escalator.

"Oh." Sonic said.

"Yeah." Tails said.

Back to Shadow (and co.)…

"Why do I have to use some crappy magic carpet to get around?" Shadow asked, unhappy with the Magic Carpet board (you read that right, the Magic Carpet is a board).

"At least you're not stuck with this thing." I said pointing at the E-Rider Bike. "I have to constantly use tricks to keep going." I said, while jumping off a half pipe to gain some air.

"Be happy you even have gear to get around with." The earlier mentioned female voice said, who is now revealed to be Wave (the explanation of how she got into the story is so long that it makes babies grow old and hairy, so I don't think you want to ask).

"Yeah, I guess…Anyway. Shadow? Are you sure the Emerald is up ahead?" I asked.

"You're the author." Shadow stated matter-of-factly.

"And this is the reason we don't talk to you Shadow." I said.

"Whatever…" Shadow said, ignoring me as we kept going.

On the other side of the ARK…

"Hey Kaz. Are we almost to the end of this?" Krystal asked.

"Yeah, pretty close." Kazuki replied. "It's strange though." He added.

"What is?" Krystal asked.

"I sense a third person with Shadow." Kazuki told her.

"That's odd…I guess we should hurry up and find out who—or what—is over there!" Krystal said.

"Works for me!" Kazuki said, as they dashed off.

Last switch…

"Yes Sonic, I'm actually-" Tails started, only to be cut off.

"There's the Emerald!" Sonic said, pointing toward the Chaos Emerald up ahead.

"Finally!" Tails said, happy that he didn't have to wander around the ARK any longer.

"Is it just me, or are there sounds coming from the left and right of the Emerald?" Sonic wondered.

"I'm sure it's nothing to be worried a-" Tails assured him--or at least he tried—until they got to the Emerald and ran into everyone else (except Shadow, since he's flying). "-bout…" He finished.

"Guess this thing came in handy." Shadow admitted.

"Ugh…Shut up Shadow…" Kazuki said as he got back on his feet. "Now tell me something." He said to me.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

"Who the hell is she?" Kazuki asked, pointing at Wave.

"That's Wave." I answered.

"How did she get here?" Sonic asked.

I point at Kazuki. "His spell lasted longer then it should have, so she got teleported from going into the spell's area of effect." I answered.

"How wa- Hey wait!" Tails started only to notice that the Chaos Emerald was gone. "Where's the Chaos Emerald?" He said.

"Speaking of which, where's Kazuki and Shadow?" Krystal asked.

"Oh hell…" I half said, half moaned. "Amethyst!" I called out, at which point a hawk of roughly 4'3" with black and red feathers (think Shadow) jumped down to where we were.

"What do you want?" He asked, his voice calm and collected.

"Go find Shadow and Kazuki, Shadow looks like you, and I don't have time to explain what Kazuki looks like, but he'll be with Shadow." I told him.

"…Got it." He said, as he ran off.

"…Should we follow him?" Sonic said after a long pause.

"Go ahead, but I'm not coming." I told them.

"Let's go then!" Tails said as they ran off in the direction Amethyst went.

Continued next chapter…But first the Chaos Emerald!

"Was running off such a good idea?" Shadow wondered aloud.

"I don't know…I do feel bad about leaving Krystal behind, again…You know maybe we should go back." Kazuki said, feeling guilty for leaving Krystal behind (he didn't really care about the others).

"Let's head back the-n?" Shadow started as they turned around to see a large round robot/spacecraft thing. "You have ten seconds to-" He started, only to be interrupted by a missile barrage. "That's it, _you're going DOWN._" He said, homing attacking the thing.

"My house is on fire!" The solider in the cockpit said.

"AGH!" Shadow yelled out in surprise as he was suddenly hit by fire.

"He knows magic?" Kazuki yelled out in just as much surprise as Shadow did earlier, and then everything went dark…

Begin program: getoffassandfinishchaptersix.EXE -99 percent- "…" -FISSION MAILED!- "**No.**" -Done!-

And the robot/spacecraft thing blew up from having a 40 pound air board slammed into it over and over. THE FIGHT HAS BEEN WON!

"How dare you deny us of a fight scene?" The readers yelled out in anger.

"Pfft. It sucked anyway." I told you all.

"We don't care! We just-" The readers started, only to get cut off.

"Readers: The author is a lazy ass. Now stop pestering him." Amethyst educated the readers.

"Thanks…Hey wait!" I protested.

You: Get the hell back to the story." Amethyst said to me.

"Who the hell are you?" Kazuki demanded of Amethyst.

"My name is not important, all you need to know is that I've been sent to find you," He said, pointing to Shadow as he ended, "and someone called Kazuki." He finished.

"But why?" Kazuki asked, suspicious of Amethyst.

"There is the fact that this place is going to start falling apart soon…" Amethyst told him.

"I guess that's reason enough." Kazuki said as the three of them continued through the ARK.

Continued next chapter…

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A/N: After a long wait, I finally finished chapter six! YAY! In case you were wondering, I got the Super Sonic Riders lyrics from the lyrics FAQ on GameFAQs. That's all I have to say.


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